You ain't wasting my time, patokaa, Deckerd, you know that. We're
partners. We're here for each other.
Just... Stay where you are, a'right? I'm coming to you now. You don't need
to be alone.
[ It's easy, so easy, to push off of his stool and wind his way through the
halls. He doesn't need to check where Deckerd is. He just knows. it's a
siren call from his systems to Deckerd's. ]
I get why you thought it was malfunctioning. You didn't have anyone else
from the team here to test it with. I would've thought the same thing.
[Deckerd was outside the labs watching the space bridge room and waiting for Yuuta and the others because of course he was, he always is, but now it seems he will have to add Shadowmaru to that list of names that feel so far away as to almost feel like-]
[When Gunmax arrives, Deckerd has pressed his face hard into his knees, the cables in his limbs and joints pulling tighter with tension. His speaks quietly, almost as if in afraid of breaking the vigil he is now holding for Shadowmaru, as if he were ill or dead rather than simply gone home]
Partners. [He vents it out, and leans towards Gunmax automatically without looking up even once to verify where he is, because he doesn't have to. His sensors could have been stricken from him and he would know where Gunmax is, the same way he'd thought he'd known where-] I remember, Makusu-tan. That doesn't stop me from making mistakes or wanting to ensure every minute you are here is worthwhile for you. That means something to me. The way you do, and-
[ He breathes it more than says it. But he folds himself down to Deckerd's
level, sitting by him and leaning back into his space. Gentle but firm. A
steady presence for him. ]
Patokaa, every moment with you is already worthwhile. You were lost to me
for six months. Every moment, every second, is a blessing I didn't have
before and I ain't one to hark on about miracles.
You don't have to stand vigil alone anymore, okay? Whatever, whoever, is
beyond that bridge... You can't do anything for them, and waiting around
isn't what Yuuta would want.
He'd tell you to look after those you have here. You know he would.
[Deckerd's immediate, reflexive sigh of a smile at Gunmax's words shakes, and he presses his face deeper into his knees, frowning and offlining his optics]
...You're right. I know you are right.
[He lifts his head up just enough to see a hint of the space bridge when he onlined his optics again, and starts to pick at the most recent welds on his hands]
But what if he comes through like you, and I'm not here? I don't want him to be alone if he-
[He ducks his head back down, not wanting to remind Gunmax of his own story, which has plainly been on his mind]
...You are still correct. He wouldn't want me to stay here when there are others who need me more than a rokm he and Shado and the others might not ever be in at all.
[Another sigh of a vent, and a deliberate puff of his cheeks that he used to tease when he was in a good mood]
If I became a poet without you looking, when did you become so wise, hmm?
Now, would he really be alone if he came through? The big guys are here, and Starscream is right across the hall.
[ Picking at his hands. Starscream had mentioned that Deckerd did that now. He shifted a little and carefully took Deckerd's hands in his own, looking over the weld marks with a small frown. ]
I spent six months without you, patokaa. Three of those months were spent on the run. Changes a mech.
[ Say nothing for the well-worn memory that rattled inside his processor. That memory, and everything around it... that had changed him. ]
But neither of us are alone now, yeah? We got each other. You ain't gotta stand on a silent vigil by yourself now. We'll keep an optic out for them coming back or coming through at all.
[ Gunmax heaved a sigh and wished, for not the first time, that he had a
human's capacity to pick up bad habits. From what he'd seen, nicotine was
powerful and great at soothing nerves and everything. Sure it fucked with
human's brains too but, you know, six in one half dozen in the other or
some shit.
The point was he could do with a drink or a smoke or literally anything.
He reached over though, stilling Deckerd's hands before they could pick at
the oil scabs too much. He squeezed, gently, and kept holding onto him. He
swiped his thumb across Deckerd's knuckles gently. ]
Deckerd.
[ He vented, deep and shaky, and then slanted a small smirk towards his
companion. ]
I've always been wise. I've just also been an ass.
[ True enough for the most part. He leaned into Deckerd a little, bumping
their shoulders together. ]
But hey. We know Yuuta, right? If he comes tumbling through that bridge,
the first thing he's gonna do is try and call you. No matter what.
[ After all, that was what had-- no. Better to stop that thought there. He
didn't want to walk that path right now. ]
You're his best friend. If he shows, he'll find you.
[Deckerd makes a small, helpless noise that is only half swallowed back, but he doesn't try to pull his hands away or to stop Gunmax, and in fact tucks himself closer wit his helm pressed against Gunmax's. This may or may not have been deliberate, so he wouldn't have to look his partner in the optic]
What if he- What if Yuuta is from your version of events, and he just-
[What if Gunmax's future was actually his own? What if he were to go home, only to die, for Yuuta to die? For Gunmax to be made into a felon on the run, and everyone gouged and bled with Deckerd's stolen memories of his own death?]
Right.
[It comes out a rasp, and he offlines his optics as he presses his face against Gunmax's shoulder. Not quite a kiss, as it hasn't occurred to him that they can be pressed other places, but the affection and desperate wish for Gunmax not to vanish when Deckerd isn't looking]
Right... [A shudder, quiet and slowing to stillness] You came, didn't you? You found me. It stands to reason he will, too. We were meant to find each other, and we always do. All that is left is- is waiting. The best part.
I wouldn't call waiting the best part. It's the hardest part for sure but...
[ He sucked in a deep vent and tipped his helm against Deckerd's, brushing
the barest of kisses against the top of one helm wing. ]
We found each other again. We'll find Yuuta too. Whether it's Yuuta from my
timeline, or from yours. Or some other random timeline, who knows. But
we'll find him.
It'll .. it'll be okay, Deckerd.
[ He wasn't good at comforting. He was trying his best. ]
[Deckerd keeps his optics offline, and shudders out a slow vent, then another. He thinks of how the last conversation he had with the Gunmax from his own side of the universes had been... forgettable. Ordinary. He isn't even sure that they'd properly said goodbye to each other, and that makes his fuel pump seize up in his chest. He pulls in a long, slow vent and lets it out. Another]
It will be fine, because we will make it fine. You cannot stop bad things from altering the course of your life, but we can control parts of the moment we are living through right now. [He pauses, and winds their fingers together. Perhaps a bit tighter and more desperate than he'd intended, but the smile he offers Gunmax is just as warm as ever] And this moment? Has you in it. Has you saying things we both know I don't believe, but what I do believe in is you and your heart. So... perhaps I do, after all.
[Deckerd makes another small noise that only gets smaller as he clutches at Gunmax, as if that could keep either of them from flying apart into pieces at the slightest touch]
I don't know that I can-
[He tucks his face closer and clumsily echoes the kiss Gunmax had given him on his helmet's wing, this time against whatever part of Gunmax's plating he can reach. He hadn't known you could do kisses in other places, the same way he hadn't expected Gunmax to bring him tumbling down without a sound]
I'll try. For you, I'll always try. I don't know that I'll succeed, but... For you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-06-14 06:35 am (UTC)Ah, hey now. None of that.
[ He knows. He recognizes the sound. ]
You ain't wasting my time, patokaa, Deckerd, you know that. We're partners. We're here for each other.
Just... Stay where you are, a'right? I'm coming to you now. You don't need to be alone.
[ It's easy, so easy, to push off of his stool and wind his way through the halls. He doesn't need to check where Deckerd is. He just knows. it's a siren call from his systems to Deckerd's. ]
I get why you thought it was malfunctioning. You didn't have anyone else from the team here to test it with. I would've thought the same thing.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-14 06:52 am (UTC)[When Gunmax arrives, Deckerd has pressed his face hard into his knees, the cables in his limbs and joints pulling tighter with tension. His speaks quietly, almost as if in afraid of breaking the vigil he is now holding for Shadowmaru, as if he were ill or dead rather than simply gone home]
Partners. [He vents it out, and leans towards Gunmax automatically without looking up even once to verify where he is, because he doesn't have to. His sensors could have been stricken from him and he would know where Gunmax is, the same way he'd thought he'd known where-] I remember, Makusu-tan. That doesn't stop me from making mistakes or wanting to ensure every minute you are here is worthwhile for you. That means something to me. The way you do, and-
no subject
Date: 2024-06-14 07:08 am (UTC)Gods, you're young.
[ He breathes it more than says it. But he folds himself down to Deckerd's level, sitting by him and leaning back into his space. Gentle but firm. A steady presence for him. ]
Patokaa, every moment with you is already worthwhile. You were lost to me for six months. Every moment, every second, is a blessing I didn't have before and I ain't one to hark on about miracles.
You don't have to stand vigil alone anymore, okay? Whatever, whoever, is beyond that bridge... You can't do anything for them, and waiting around isn't what Yuuta would want.
He'd tell you to look after those you have here. You know he would.
no subject
Date: 2024-06-14 10:28 pm (UTC)...You're right. I know you are right.
[He lifts his head up just enough to see a hint of the space bridge when he onlined his optics again, and starts to pick at the most recent welds on his hands]
But what if he comes through like you, and I'm not here? I don't want him to be alone if he-
[He ducks his head back down, not wanting to remind Gunmax of his own story, which has plainly been on his mind]
...You are still correct. He wouldn't want me to stay here when there are others who need me more than a rokm he and Shado and the others might not ever be in at all.
[Another sigh of a vent, and a deliberate puff of his cheeks that he used to tease when he was in a good mood]
If I became a poet without you looking, when did you become so wise, hmm?
no subject
Date: 2024-06-15 07:20 am (UTC)Now, would he really be alone if he came through? The big guys are here, and Starscream is right across the hall.
[ Picking at his hands. Starscream had mentioned that Deckerd did that now. He shifted a little and carefully took Deckerd's hands in his own, looking over the weld marks with a small frown. ]
I spent six months without you, patokaa. Three of those months were spent on the run. Changes a mech.
[ Say nothing for the well-worn memory that rattled inside his processor. That memory, and everything around it... that had changed him. ]
But neither of us are alone now, yeah? We got each other. You ain't gotta stand on a silent vigil by yourself now. We'll keep an optic out for them coming back or coming through at all.
no subject
Date: 2024-07-07 12:43 am (UTC)[ Gunmax heaved a sigh and wished, for not the first time, that he had a human's capacity to pick up bad habits. From what he'd seen, nicotine was powerful and great at soothing nerves and everything. Sure it fucked with human's brains too but, you know, six in one half dozen in the other or some shit.
The point was he could do with a drink or a smoke or literally anything.
He reached over though, stilling Deckerd's hands before they could pick at the oil scabs too much. He squeezed, gently, and kept holding onto him. He swiped his thumb across Deckerd's knuckles gently. ]
Deckerd.
[ He vented, deep and shaky, and then slanted a small smirk towards his companion. ]
I've always been wise. I've just also been an ass.
[ True enough for the most part. He leaned into Deckerd a little, bumping their shoulders together. ]
But hey. We know Yuuta, right? If he comes tumbling through that bridge, the first thing he's gonna do is try and call you. No matter what.
[ After all, that was what had-- no. Better to stop that thought there. He didn't want to walk that path right now. ]
You're his best friend. If he shows, he'll find you.
no subject
Date: 2024-07-07 01:04 am (UTC)What if he- What if Yuuta is from your version of events, and he just-
[What if Gunmax's future was actually his own? What if he were to go home, only to die, for Yuuta to die? For Gunmax to be made into a felon on the run, and everyone gouged and bled with Deckerd's stolen memories of his own death?]
Right.
[It comes out a rasp, and he offlines his optics as he presses his face against Gunmax's shoulder. Not quite a kiss, as it hasn't occurred to him that they can be pressed other places, but the affection and desperate wish for Gunmax not to vanish when Deckerd isn't looking]
Right... [A shudder, quiet and slowing to stillness] You came, didn't you? You found me. It stands to reason he will, too. We were meant to find each other, and we always do. All that is left is- is waiting. The best part.
no subject
Date: 2024-07-07 01:27 am (UTC)I wouldn't call waiting the best part. It's the hardest part for sure but...
[ He sucked in a deep vent and tipped his helm against Deckerd's, brushing the barest of kisses against the top of one helm wing. ]
We found each other again. We'll find Yuuta too. Whether it's Yuuta from my timeline, or from yours. Or some other random timeline, who knows. But we'll find him.
It'll .. it'll be okay, Deckerd.
[ He wasn't good at comforting. He was trying his best. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-07-07 01:44 am (UTC)It will be fine, because we will make it fine. You cannot stop bad things from altering the course of your life, but we can control parts of the moment we are living through right now. [He pauses, and winds their fingers together. Perhaps a bit tighter and more desperate than he'd intended, but the smile he offers Gunmax is just as warm as ever] And this moment? Has you in it. Has you saying things we both know I don't believe, but what I do believe in is you and your heart. So... perhaps I do, after all.
no subject
Date: 2024-07-07 02:22 am (UTC)[ Gunmax huffed out a quiet laugh and pressed a soft kiss to Deckerd's helm. Just barely brushing over his plating. ]
I've proven you wrong before, patokaa. I can do it again.
[ He tangled his fingers with Deckerd's, squeezing back just as firmly. ]
You're the smartest mech I know, Deckerd. But you're also the most likely to overthink. So just...
[ He made a small sound, an almost frustrated one, and pressed his face into Deckerd's helm, hiding himself away. ]
Just stay with me in the current moment, okay? Don't go running into the future or the past. Just... Stay with me.
no subject
Date: 2024-07-18 04:06 am (UTC)I don't know that I can-
[He tucks his face closer and clumsily echoes the kiss Gunmax had given him on his helmet's wing, this time against whatever part of Gunmax's plating he can reach. He hadn't known you could do kisses in other places, the same way he hadn't expected Gunmax to bring him tumbling down without a sound]
I'll try. For you, I'll always try. I don't know that I'll succeed, but... For you.